Life is Terrifying - But so what?

 You take a good hard look at what is going on behind the scenes in your world, and you will find a lot of grim reminders of the hardships and suffering that lie under a slimsy veil of 'normalcy'.

Awareness of Old Age, Sickness, and Death was the impetus that drove the Buddha to give away his comfortable, protected life as a prince to become a reounced sage in the forest.

It's a terrific story, and one I have always related to.

Perhaps it had something to do with the Sixties and/or psychedelic drug experimentations, but I just wasn't comfortable 'trying not to think about' the dark side of life.

And of course, Death itself is the Biggest Game in town.  Nobody wants to die.  Or go thru a lot of sickness and pain.

Is a belief that it is somehow possible to 'cheat' the Inevitable lies at the heart of  much 'religiosity'.

The thought that somehow, but merely 'allying' with the right teachings, or perhaps the most convincing Teacher, is some sort of solace?

Or the idea that all one need do to resolve the apparent contradiction between our impulse to survive and the death sentence we all receive along with our birth certificates, is to get on 'God's Side' thru allegiance with one of His 'Favorites'?

Especially when there are those who are willing to lie to you that they have an answer to your metaphysical discomforts.  They will tell you how it REALLY is.  Who you REALLY are!

That you are actually one of the most FAVORED sons or daughters and needn't do much else but support them, and their charities for the poor, and they will give you new names and new partners and new practices to convince you you really are DIFFERNT now.

They tell you that the fear you drank, and sexed, and fretted over is done.  You have found what you were looking for.  All the more so because it doesn't LOOK like what you were looking for.  Therefore, it MUST BE THAT.  Only in disguise.

'Cultic' Mistakes Seekers Make!

 1. Mistaking Allegiance to the Guide, Books, or Practices as the end goal of spiritual growth/enlightenment, rather than using them as 'tools' to reach God.

2. Undergoing humiliating practices as a method for 'ego-destruction'.  The Ego should fall away naturally over time.  The attempt to hasten its departure too abruptly can lead to self-hatred and shame rather than relief.

3. Cutting off contact with 'the outside world'. While periods of isolation/retreat can be extremely useful for calming and intensifying the mind, in a cultic contact it can build a dependence on an 'in-group'.  A spiritual practice should also have the goal of lessening suffering in 'the world' whenever possible.

MISTAKING A CHANGE OF COSTUME FOR INNER CHANGE

It's typical of cults to place a good deal of emphasis in changing names, costumes, dietary habits, etc.  To build a 'separate world' even within lives led within the mainstream culture.

In the beginning, perhaps in the days and weeks after 'initiation,' a seeker is likely to believe the apparenent changes are part of a major interior, spiritual change.

In a cult there is typically little emphasis put on 'working thru' one's past.  It is often suggested that the past doesn't matter, since one has already 'transcended' the earlier, troublesome identity.

In this respect, the Cult is like a Drug.  It gives the illusion of transcending one's pain or guilty past.  Yet, ironically, it prevents skillfully approaching and lovingly releasing a painful past thru compassion, mindfulness, and forgiveness.

Requiem For An Order

A Glittering Laila-il-Qadir In Sidi's House in the 80's

As far as I knew, Sidi had few, if any, disciples in other Muslim
countries.  

At least by the time he started visiting America.

At my first Laila-til-Qadir at Sidi's House, in the 1980s, dozens if not HUNDREDS of faithful local Muslims linked up in a THUNDEROUS CIRCUIT of Dhikr throughout the whole interior of his house!

I was literally fearful the floor would give out under the weight of so many men stamping the floor with their feet in unison,  "La ILLAHA IL Allah....La ILLAHA IL ALLAH..." 

It was a magical, unforgettable, thrilling moment that I never saw repeated!  

Perhaps because any sort of large public gathering in a private home later became targeted by Israeli Authorities!  

Or maybe because the Temple Precinct/Dome of the Rock was the preferred gathering point for large Muslim crowds, as it offered space for an almost-unlimited number of the Faithful!)

As time passed, I also noticed fewer and fewer local men coming by the house in Jerusalem to speak with Sidi.

Perhaps much of this had to do with the series of wars and Intifadas ('Uprisings') and the consequent break-up of Palestine by the Israelis into dozens of tiny 'zones' cut off from each other by checkpoints and Israeli soldiers.

Not to mention, the dreadful 'Wall' which indiscriminately tore up Arab communities in the interests of Israeli and Israeli Settler 'security.'

These developments made intra-Palestinian travel a time-consuming, exhausting, and often multi-day process.  It deliberately cut off the spiritual 'center' of Palestinian life, Jerusalem, from the rest of the country.

All these new facts on the ground perhaps deprived Sidi of his traditional status as a Sufi Guide amongst a declining base of Palestinian Sufis.

And, even though there was an apparent Islamic revival in Palestine in response to the Intifadas, this 're-Islamitization' usually took the form of an allegiance to the more radical jihadist extremes of Islam, represented by Hamas, Islamic Jihad, and Hezbollah, rather than the more pacific outlet of Sufism.

In the face of systemic Zionist violence - which some would label 'genocide' - against Palestinians, the most zealous forms of Islam were the predictable forms of response.

Perhaps in response, it seemed that Sidi was shifting his focus in the final years of his life, intentionally toward something akin to the evangelization of North America.  

Leaderless & Deprived of Its Base in Traditional Islam
Sidi's Order Became a Fragrance Of Its Earlier Self.

This is hinted at in my chapter, "Tale of Two Sidis," and in the following epitaph from Sheik Nurideen Jaffee, where he compliments Sidi for having unparalleled success in creating more Muslims.  http://greenmountainschool.org/slides/in-memory-of-a-great-shaykh-in-memory-of-a-long-long-friendship/

This totally makes sense to me as Sidi's primary objective: to pass on the religion of Islam to the West.  As I understand it, it's one's obligation to bring the entire world to Islam, and I think Sidi was, first and foremost, a believing Muslim.

Maybe it even served him as penance to Allah for his personal lapses.

In any case, the breakneck speed of the transition from East to West proved too sudden and unprecedented to allow for even the pretense of continuity of Sidi's Sufi Order after his death. 

His Order died along with him, and he failed to pass it on, although he did pass on the outer Islam to many.

He seemed to enjoy being a spiritual celebrity in the West, although outward celebrity was not typically a feature in the Sufi Order formulation.

His Arabic-speaking company in the West mainly consisted of members of his own family and/or a disparate collection of Arabic-speaking immigrants to the West looking to reconnect with Islam and/or Islamic Sufism in their adoptive country.

In short, whatever was 'Shadhili' in Sidi's earlier group was more of a fragrance than a reality by the time of his passing.  

For whatever reasons - sex and money being the Prime Suspects - Sidi gave up the responsibility of stewardship for the continuity of his Order.

Leaving it rudderless - a decaying caricature of its former self.  Subject to the power struggles of the personalities who wished to claim its remains for their own ends.

Or, perhaps, a spiritually sustaining memory for those (primarily the Europeans) who were separated from it early enough to not witness the disturbing Gotterdammerung* of its American diaspora.

Evolving into a commercialized, online caricature of a self-help program which tries to be everything for everybody, but which has lost all but a fragrance of the original, Ancient path.

Perhaps Sidi's Eastern followers fell away due to the strange  collection of Westerners that were more-or-less continuously inhabiting the lowest floor or Sidi's house.

Perhaps the fact that the men and women were all mixed up together raised some eyebrows?

I think perhaps the Shaytan (devil/Mara) spoke to Sidi due to the power and authority that was unquestioningly given to him. 

 He had, at one point, been the single courier for all of the operational fund for religious affairs on the West Bank for the Jordanian government, before Jordan renounce all claims on West Bank land.

He was believed to be so trustworthy and upright that King Hussein  let him carry millions as no banks continued to operate after the 1967 war.

Maybe it all got started there.

_____________________

*Gotterdammerung - Myth about the twilight/destruction of the Gods.